I love being open and honest with you guys. My blog is kind of like a journal laying open waiting for somebody to come along and read a page or two.
Well, in today’s chapter I’m talking about self-love. I don’t want this to come off as a cheesy “Be the BEST you in 2018” or “Start loving your body today!” kind of post. Because, let’s get real, that’s just not how it goes.
Learning to love ourselves and our bodies is hard. It’s work. In a world consumed by numbers and status, we’re fighting an uphill battle. I have so not reached the top of this mountain, but I am making teeny-tiny baby steps every day. Here’s a few of those to give you guys an idea of where to start —>
1 … I’m taking my medicine! — I used to be ashamed to say that I took medication on the daily. I was afraid people would call me a “pill popper” or say that I didn’t need it. When in all reality, I do! I have daily headaches and I need medication to help me with it. That’s nothing to be ashamed of and I’m done running to the bathroom to take my meds. My doctor prescribed them for a reason and I am doing nothing wrong. I am taking care of my body shamelessly.
2 … I eat more of what I want! — The past 5 or so years I’ve had a roller-coaster relationship with food. I restricted my intake down to a very unhealthy amount and I saw great damage to my physical and mental health. Now, I’m somewhere in the middle. I still have days where eating enough is less than easy and I miss the rigidity of my old ways. But, by freeing myself from that old lifestyle, I’ve opened the door to so much more. More energy, more yummy foods, more life! Recovery is a choice I must make on the daily.
3 … I go to bed early! — I used to feel worthless and lazy if I went to bed before 10 p.m. What a dumb, self-made rule? If my body and mind are tired I’m not going to be 100% at whatever I’m doing anyway, right?! Our bodies need rest to run properly. Sitting and staring at a textbook for another hour isn’t going to make my GPA higher if I’m not absorbing a single thing from it.
4 … I buy myself things! — I used to feel guilty for buying myself something as necessary toothpaste. Seriously, I felt like that money should be donated to a charity or something rather than to my bathroom cabinet. I know this is really extreme, but it’s honestly the truth. I love giving so much that I forget I need to give to myself and that does not make me selfish in the slightest.
5 … I’m not pressuring myself as much! — I pressure myself a lot. Especially when school is involved. I’m going to be completely honest with you guys. This past month my GPA went down. Not a lot, but still, it went down. The old me would have freaked out, stayed up all night studying, and punished myself by depriving myself of something “impromptu” that I wanted. I’m proud to say that I’m done with that vicious cycle. I know that I can get my GPA back to where it was before the semester is over and if I don’t, I’m honestly OK with that, too. I’m not letting a number consume me a moment longer. MY intelligence is worth so much more that a number.
6. I lean on my Savior! — This is something that I could write its’ own post on. In times where I doubt myself and feel unworthy, I forget that my body and life were bought at a price by Jesus’ blood. I forget that Jesus doesn’t care about one’s body and flesh, but their heart and actions. In times where I feel unworthy or scared, I picture Jesus sitting next to me. I wonder if he’d be proud? I wonder if he’d be sad or angered by my action?
I don’t know about you. But, as a Christian, this keeps me very accountable. Also, it helps me be nicer to myself because I know The Lord wants me to love myself whom he has created.
I hope this post brightened up your day and reminded you that you are amazing! I know there’s 7 billion people in the world and you feel insignificant sometimes, but please know that I mean this with all my heart. You are a gift and the world needs you! Things are hard, life is hard – so hard! But, you are tough, you are resilient, you will rise. Loving yourself will only help you on your journey. ❤
Thoughts on this post?
How to you practice self-love?