Three weeks ago I turned 18.
Two weeks ago I had a graduation party.
May 10th, 2017 was my last day of high school.
Less than a week ago I went to a job interview and got the job.
A few days ago I started that job.
Things are changing and I want to take some time to reflect; some time to remember where I’ve been so I don’t ever lose sight of where I came from. This post may seem long and without direction, but I want to share what’s on my heart with you guys today. I try and keep my blog posts diversified; so if you’re looking for a review/giveaway post, I will have more up soon. Today I wanted to do a more personal post. Hope y’all won’t mind!
The days have seemed so long; every hour like a day, every day like a year. But, when I look back at all I’ve done in eighteen years it seems so dense and diverse. There’s been ups and there’s been downs.
There’s been moments where I barely had the energy to even go to school due to my underrating. There’s been moments where I thought I would never be smart enough to graduate high school. I doubted myself so much and lacked confidence and self-esteem because of it.
May 10, 2017 was the day my last exam was due. It was none other than English, my least favorite subject. I read the textbook over and over, still not comprehending it all. I asked my mom to for help, she quizzed me on the topics. Since she was my teacher up until 9th grade she knows my strengths and weaknesses and is always a big help!
Of course, nobody could take the test for me. It was up to me. I clicked the “Take Exam” button and hoped for the best. 45 minutes later I get a congratulatory message and a grade of 100%. I rejoice with a smile on my face, hug all my family, and, just like that, I’m no longer a high school student. I’m officially a high school graduate!
At this point, I’ve already had had my graduation party, but I was still terrified of not passing my last class. There was the devil in the very back of my mind telling me I’m not going to do it. Well, God’s grace was prevalent in my make-shift classroom on that Wednesday afternoon.
Now I’m working my first job and am looking up good nursing schools close to home. The chapter that I’ve been on for so many years has come to an end. This is just the end of a chapter, not a book.
Going back to my first point, the days seemed to drag on forever. They really did and it seemed like nothing ever changed. But, now that I look back so much has changed. People have left my life and come into my life. I’ve learned the truth about so much and so many individuals, myself included.
I’ve learned that people only change if they want to. You cannot change someone and should not change who you are to fit someone else’s mold.
I’ve learned that not everyone will know your worth, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.
I’ve learned that things won’t last forever. Life will always go on, we just have to decipher how we’re going to go through it.
I’ve learned that my body is more than a number. That harming my body in order to feel something is never the answer.
I’ve learned that some people won’t be in your life forever, and sometimes it’s for the best.
These thoughts are scattered. That’s probably because I didn’t outline this post or have a set topic. All I know is that change isn’t bad. It can be good, even great! It can also be scary and filled with uncertainty.
I had two days off before I was to jump into the working world. Before I started “adulting” just yet, I soaked in the remaining moments of childhood. I watched a movie with my family during the day. I made a big dinner and a sweet dessert! I slept in and had coffee with my mom. I know I’ll still be able to do these things, just not as often. I don’t say this out of sadness; I’m just as excited about my new job and chapter in life as I am sad about no longer being a high school student!
To wrap this post up, I just want to ask you to take a second and look around you. I don’t care what age you are or what position you’re in right now in life; things won’t be like this forever. So, take in the smell of your house when you walk in the front door; the way your toddler giggles, and the taste of your moms classic apple pie.
All these things are temporary. It is sad when they go, but by them leaving they’re making room for more wonderful things to take their place. Instead of worrying about them leaving, embrace them while they’re still there.
No questions in particular – Feel free to share your thoughts on the post!