In honor of the new year, I thought it would be a good time to write a post about forgiveness.
We’re all making our list of resolutions and a really common one is “let go of grudges” and to “move on.” But, that is much easier said than done. Here is my steps I take to give forgiveness not only to others, but to myself too.
Forgiving ≠ Forgetting –
This is so commonly said when it comes to forgiving, but it’s so true and needs to be said again. I feel like we always think that if we forgive we have to forget, and if we don’t we have fully forgiven. I don’t know about you, but I think this is 100% wrong. Forgiving is putting the past in the past and moving on. It doesn’t mean you erase your memory. And just because you’re not forgetting doesn’t mean that your relationship with ‘said person’ you forgave can’t go on. So many times relationships can rise from the ashes and be rebuilt even bigger and better than they were before. Sometimes forgiveness comes first and forgetting later. Sometimes forgiveness comes first and forgetting comes never, and that’s okay too.
You Don’t Always Get An Apology –
This is something I used to battle with a lot. Whenever I was hurt by someone and they didn’t apologize, I’d always think “Don’t you see you’ve hurt me?” But, the truth is sometimes people don’t know they have or do and refuse to do anything about it. People usually recognize their sins at some time in their lives, but that doesn’t mean that we need to wait for them to in order to forgive. It may take them 15 years (or a lifetime) to see their wrongdoing, and in the mean time you’re wasting your days waiting for their repentance. Sometimes we have to forgive without an apology. No, it’s not ideal and yes it hurts, but I promise that forgiveness can break so many chains whether you’re in the right or wrong.
Just Like Everything Else, It Takes Time –
Ever heard the saying “Rome wasn’t built in a day?” Well, it applies here too. Forgiving someone is only the first step among many. Especially if this situation was a big hindrance on your relationship. Take things slow! If someone forgave you, don’t expect things to go back to the way they were before right away. Show the person you’re truly sorry by changing your actions and improving yourself more, but don’t feel bad if they’re not super receptive at first. Time truly heals most wounds, we just have to be patient.
It’s A Choice –
Just like so many things in life, forgiveness is a choice. You don’t have to forgive someone if you don’t want to. But, if you’ve chosen to give or receive forgiveness, that’s amazing! Since you’ve chosen it, you have to pursue it, accept it, and work at it. You chose it for a reason only you know. You’re not required to forgive someone even if they’ve apologized. So if you’ve accepted an apology, remember that it wasn’t required and work towards letting go of all your anger and resent.
Forgive Yourself –
When we hear the word forgive we think about others and what they’ve done. But, let’s think about you for a minute. What have you done wrong? What is something you did that made you so mad at yourself? Have you fully moved on or are you still plagued with guilt? It’s so easy to beat ourselves up because we’re with ourselves 24/7. But the same forgiveness you can give to someone who hurt you, you can grant to yourself. Sometimes this is the most freeing forgiveness you’ll ever encounter. I believe that in order to forgive others we have to forgive our own trespasses first; that’s where the healing truly begins.
I know this post may seem a bit deep for some, but that’s what I love about blogging. I can share topics deep and shallow with you guys and we can converse about them. Life shouldn’t be serious all the time, but some times it needs to be. Feel free to share your own insight on this subject in the comments below. I always love hearing what you guys have to say! ❤
Question time:
Thoughts on this post?
Do you tend to forgive and forget easily?
Forgiveness is so difficult and I find above all it really takes time (for me anyway) especially when you maybe don’t get an apology. It’s so important to try our best to forgive though, I know it’s made me much happier!
Amy xx
http://www.callmeamy.co.uk
LikeLike
Forgiveness is difficult, but it it also very freeing! I’m so glad you stopped by and this post resonated with you, Amy xx
LikeLike
Wonderful and perfect! I follow you blog, please follow me too. http://alamodenatine.blogspot.com
LikeLike
Thank you so much! I cannot guarantee a follow, but I’ll totally check out your blog :]
LikeLike
This is a really well-written post, lady. I struggle with forgiveness sometimes- especiallyyyyyy when I don’t get an apology! This was a solid read for me. 🙂
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
LikeLike
Thanks so much, Ashley! Forgiving without an apology can be really difficult, but forgiveness, in the end, is so freeing ❤
LikeLike
These are great steps. It’s a choice for sure.
LikeLike
Thanks so much, Becky! Wishing you a wonderful rest of your week!
LikeLike
I love that you don’t totally agree with the “forgive and forget” thing. I may forgive, but I never forget. I love this post. Definitely good to start out the new year with this. Maybe some can forgive somethings that happened in 2016. (:
LikeLike
Thank you so much, Emily! I’m so glad you stopped by and enjoyed the post. I hope you have an amazing 2017 ❤
LikeLike
I tend to have a harder time forgiving myself for sure. There’s a song called Forgive by Trevor hall that honestly has really helped me with this!
LikeLike
I need to check that out! I have a hard time with forgiving myself too.
LikeLike
Very good food for thought – forgiving isn’t always easy, but there are times when it is important to let go. Nice post!
LikeLike
Thanks so much, Amy! I couldn’t agree more; letting go is so important!
LikeLike
Such greats tips & perspective. I think letting go of grudges is so important – lifes too short!
Annessa
http://www.seekingsunshine.com
LikeLike
Thank you, Annessa! I couldn’t agree more! ❤
LikeLike
This post is so relevant. Thanks for sharing. Forgiveness can be so hard sometimes.
LikeLike
Thanks you, Chanel! I’m so glad you enjoyed the post. Yes, forgiveness can be hard, but it’s such a wonderful thing to give and receive.
LikeLike
Such a wonderful topic. I’ve always been bad with grudges… but the older I get the more I realize it’s not worth it.
LikeLike
Thanks, Julie! I couldn’t agree more; as I mature I’m learning to let go more.
LikeLike
Love this post! I’m easy in forgiving and forgetting.. when it comes to the right people or situations..
Thanks for the inspiration♥
Xoxo
http://www.thathappymess.com
LikeLike
Thanks so much, Patricia! That’s a wonderful attribute you have! Hope you have a great week ❤
LikeLike
Such an important message!! Great post 🙂
writingclaud.com
LikeLike
Thanks so much, Claudia!
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a fantastic post! We are called to forgive even our enemies! Not ever easy to do!
LikeLike
Thank you so much, Jeremy! Forgiveness is never easy, but can be such a freeing thing. Happy Tuesday!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree! Happy Tuesday to you as well!
LikeLike
Pingback: Blog Linkup #3 | Mommyhood Moments